I first heard about you on Facebook many, many years ago, where several friends of mine went on about how cool you were and that you were something special. But I first met you in YouTube, where you looked very annoyed about something, but still calm as an angry seagull just before stealing someones sandwich. I heard many things about you, that you were bit strange, cold, calculated, psychopathic and not really much fun to be around with, however you were special. Everyone could see that. I saw through that, because I knew that you would give me something special, something that I could keep on following, through shitty days at work, long nights of partying, torturing shopping mall visits or even after playing sports for a whole day. You were my nightly non-sexual relief. I poured my glass of bourbon, prepared my snacks and put on my comfy clothes, just for you Dex.
I believed in you, and in your cause. I know it must’ve been hard to look always so fucking calm under ghastly and inescapable situations, but you still pulled through, even when you found out that your biological brother is a psycho just like you (awww). Shit really did happen in your life and you still pushed on killing people that deserved it, and calmly you went back to La Playa and had your mojitos with peoples of your office. But recently Dexter, I felt that we drifted apart, maybe it was me and not you, but I felt that you were under lots of pressure to perform (just like a pornstar) in front of people. Maybe that’s why season 5 was total duck shit. I don’t know what it was, but I still kept on watching, like lots of people in hope that you would bounce back. For a while now Dexter, I’ve been with another series…yes, it is true and its definitely not, you but me. This other series has given me something that I have been missing out from your show for a while now, unpredictability. I won’t tell you who it is because you might put them on your table, but these guys are pretty bad ass, I mean one of them used to be a chemistry teacher and now he deals crystal meth or something… There are some others Dexter, but you knew that day would come sometime soon, right? Again, its not you, its me.
Last night I saw you the last time and I had very mixed feelings. I didn’t know what to expect, as I heard from so many that you kinda disappointed them, but I ignored them and continued to believe in you man! Ever since Hannah and Vogel came to your life, I think you lost your cool and became more like a human, which is lame as we humans are sentimental pussies, but you saw your mother in Vogel, and really connected with that hot blondie, which we all understood. The death of LaGuerta was also pretty drastic shit, but the last episode man, I mean the last 2 episodes, what the fuck happened there?
Why did you let that David Beckham lookalike go? Why did you pull Debbie out of the hospital? How about your apartment, did you ever get it sold? How the hell Hannah just walk around Miami with no disguise? How did you survive the hurricane?
I woke up this morning with this nasty feeling that I lost a good friend. I know it sounds bit weird, but I really felt like it. Ever since I lost Tony Soprano, Michael Scofield and Jack Bauer, I’ve been really sensitive to main characters leaving me…I know you must’ve felt that everyone around you gets hurt, and the evidence does support that, but man…the last episode bro…you could have given us a bit of joy, I know you have a dark passenger in you that is trying to control you but for fuck sake man, you could have at least left Deb where she was. That push of a button and that last scene with her is like getting a sharp fork stuck into your face. Who’s gonna get her awesome apartment now? I know you yearned to be a normal person and I know that you got everything stripped from you. The last scene tells a thousand tales of your suffering, conquests and the state of mind…You lost your friends, brother, sister, wife, mother, father and even your voiceover…so no wonder that you went into a total shutdown.
I don’t know what it was that got me hooked on to you Dexter, I don’t know if it was that insane breakfast you have in the intro every fucking time, or the interesting analysis you do about blood or is it the fact that I was in a vulnerable state when I met you, but by Scott did I get hooked!
I’m sure that you are hanging out with Tony, Jack and Michael somewhere very nice, and that Dexter the TV show is a far gone affair for you, but if I ever see you appearing anywhere, with a beard or not, you’ll always be Dexter to me. Goodbye.