10 Really shitty movies of 2016

One thing that is precious these days is my motherlovin time! Man, don’t waste my time! To many people these days, time is more valuable than money. The last thing I want to do is to loose both money and time, but it happens, especially with the movies… Because once you decide to start watching a movie, you are committed. There is no going back, unless you just stop but thats for quitters or for reallllyyy shitty movies.

Here are 10 movies that you seriously should skip unless you love wasting your time and pouring salt into your eye.

BFG – Big Friendly Giant, or Big Fucking Giant. I should have known that anything created by Spielberg in this decade is going to be full of mierda. This is one shitty movie folks. UNLESS, you’re a 10 year old or a parent to bunch of stupid kids who hate the world. Why is it bad? Umm, the story blows ass, the main character has an incredibly annoying accent and they treat the audience like 5 year olds. But the marketing was more for young adults and hey, Spielberg! I just wanted to punch everything at the cinema, the threat of violence was palpable. Also, the acting is just bad, with the exception of the lead girl! She is brilliant!

Rock the Kasbah – Starring Bill Murray, who I freaking love! So it hurts to include them in this list, but this was one of the worst movies of the year and most likely Murray’s career. Its boring, the plot doesn’t have enough turning points although being an interesting story. Really interesting story actually, which kept me watching it till the end. But, boy is the directing bad. You can feel the lack of enthusiasm to make this into a decent movie. Its just really bland. The ending sucks too.

The Hateful Eight – Yeah I know this movie came out in 2015 but I saw it in 2016. And it sucks! Story is absolutely rubbish, I mean what the F!! The acting, obviously, is very good, but they are let down by the story. Directing and all of the other crap is ok level, but its ultimately story that lets everyone down. With this kind of cast, you should be able to do MUCH better.

Jason Bourne – Oh maaan, I hated to find out that this was a crappy movie while watching it. It just hurt seeing a franchise you love to collapse in front of your eyes. Its just a big disappointment. I’m not gonna sugar coat it or even try to be poetical, this movie, ladies and gentlemen, is not worth your time.

Independence Day: Resurgence – This is actually more like a comedy rather than an action movie. Its really really bad. I’m sure they knew during the filming and were probably thinking: “hey, this movie is totally gonna suck shit”, but they still kept going. Shame really, as the first Independence Day was a great movie. Just watching the trailer will give an idea of the level of shitness. This goes to show that there is no need to make a sequel…

Neighbors 2 – As bad as Independence Day was, it wasn’t as bad as this piece of turd. Who in their right mind would give a greenlight to this script? Nothing in this movie makes sense. NOTHING. Its lame, full of one liners, horrible acting from secondary actors and the story is just fluff. Unless you’re a teenager between 14-17. First one was ok movie, but this…

Hail Caesar – Perhaps the WORST MOVIE in this list and perhaps even in this decade. I tell you why, move aside and hold your sexual organs: It had so much potential, so much freaking potential with incredible cast and huge funding, and yet it sucked beyond recognition. FUBAR! Check out the cast: Directed by Ethan Coen, starring George Clooney, Scarlett Johansson, Tilda Swinton, Ralph Fiennes, Channing Tatu, Jonah Hill and Frances McDormand. You get my point? No? Ok how about this: The movie is about a Hollywood movie studio boss in the 1950’s who looses his star actor due to lame kidnapping plot organised by a book club society.  Meanwhile cue dancing, singing and bad dialogue. Finally the star returns and movie continues to be made. The end. The trailer has NOTHING to do with the movie, NOTHING! There isn’t even one funny scene or moment in the movie. Its the shittiest movie of the year because of the waste of talent, I mean look at the lineup and the director for Christ sake! How can you make a horrible movie with all these people!?!

Nina – A biopic about the life of Nina Simone – an incredibly talented black activist and immensely strong character who has arguably one of the most interesting life stories of any artist. Unfortunately, the movie blows. First of all (for most the only reason), they hired an Caribbean-Latina actress, Zoe Saldana to play the role of a African American lady. Second, they focused on Nina’s bad times, the drinking and drugs rather than creation and brilliance. Which she had plenty! The actresses have no resemblance and Zoe even admitted it on several occasion on why on earth did they insisted on her as the only choice for the role. At least it wasn’t Beyonce…

Gods of Egypt – this one cost 140 million USD and somehow brought in 150 million, but it is generally blasted as one of the worst epic movies of all time. In Rotten tomatotes (definitely not a reliable or even understandable source, but helps to understand) only 16% and in IMDB a miserable 5.5 out of 10.

Ghostbusters – I don’t want to dedicate any more of my time to this piece of crap. Enough said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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